Case study - Real estate

A French property listing, rewritten for Swedish buyers

Sector: luxury residential property Source market: France Target market: Sweden Audit score 5/10 - 3 critical frictions, 3 missing data points
Audit finding

The property has strong potential with its stone buildings, large plot, and proximity to nature and beaches. However, the presentation feels overly promotional and lacks the factual transparency a Swedish buyer expects.

The audited property listing as published: hero photograph, price, floor areas and the opening paragraphs of the sales copy, with the agency identity removed
The page as published, down to the first paragraphs of the sales copy. Agency name, negotiator and listing reference removed. Photographs blurred: the audit examined the copy, not the photography.
The situation

A French listing that oversells a good property

A stone property in Brittany, priced at just under a million euros, presented in English to reach buyers abroad. A Swedish reader likes the setting on sight and distrusts the way it is sold. His objection is not that the page says too little. It is that it insists.

The audit scored the page 5 out of 10 for a Swedish buyer, with visual clarity down at 6: the photography itself reads as promotional to this reader. Three critical frictions, quoted from the audit:

  • excessive promotional language contradicting lagom values
  • poor energy performance (D, 214 kWhEP/m².an) without a renovation plan
  • missing legal framework for outbuilding conversion under French planning law

Where the audit answers each of these:

Zone by zone

What changed, and why

ZONE 1 / 6

Listing headline and opening paragraph

Before

Stone-built estate 20 minutes from the beaches - Surzur, Rhuys Peninsula

At the gateway to the Rhuys Peninsula, in the sought-after village of Surzur, discover this character property nestled in a peaceful cul-de-sac, surrounded by a preserved and leafy environment. Located just 15 to 20 minutes from the beaches of Damgan and Sarzeau, including Penvins, Landrezac and Suscinio, this charming stone-built estate enjoys an ideal setting between the countryside and the coast.

After - Swedish

Stone-built house with outbuildings on 6,000 m² near Surzur beaches

A 203 m² stone house with three additional stone structures on a 6,000 m² plot, 15 minutes from Damgan and Sarzeau beaches. Energy class D (214 kWhEP/m².an).

Register

The shortest headline of the three, and the only one that leads with a weakness. The energy class sits in the opening sentence, not in a technical section further down. The audit is direct about why: excessive promotional language contradicts lagom, and a page that hides its weak point is read as dishonest rather than as well presented.

ZONE 2 / 6

Description of the house and outbuildings

Before

The main house offers nearly 200 m² of living accommodation. On the ground floor, it features a spacious 74 m² living area, the true heart of the home, ideal for family gatherings and entertaining. This level also includes a kitchen and a room that can be used either as a bedroom or a home office.

Surrounding the main house are several stone outbuildings, one of the property’s most valuable assets. A former cowshed with a footprint of approximately 95 m² is ready to be transformed according to your vision. A second building offers around 74 m² of convertible floor space together with a 37 m² workshop/cellar. A covered shelter and a former agricultural barn further enhance the exceptional potential of the estate.

After - Swedish

The main house includes, on the ground floor, a 74 m² living area, kitchen, and one room suitable as a bedroom or office. First floor: three bedrooms, one bathroom, separate WC, and a sitting room.

Outbuildings: former cowshed (95 m² footprint), second building with 74 m² convertible space and 37 m² workshop or cellar, covered shelter and former agricultural barn.

The property is 4 km from local shops and schools, and 21 km from Vannes railway station.

Register

Nothing is added; the adjectives are simply removed. The audit’s fidelity note for this variant reads ‘reformulation and hierarchization only; no characteristics added beyond verified facts’. The result is the plainest of the three rewrites, and deliberately so: for this reader, restraint is itself an argument.

ZONE 3 / 6

Closing sales paragraph

Before

A rare opportunity where the charm of traditional stone buildings, the tranquillity of the countryside and the proximity of both the Gulf of Morbihan and the Atlantic coast come together perfectly.

A property full of character, charm and potential, ideal for bringing to life a unique family project in an exceptional setting.

After - Swedish

Cut entirely.

Register

The closing paragraph is not merely empty here, it is counter-productive. The audit records that ‘rare opportunity’ and ‘exceptional setting’ trigger Janteloven, and that such phrasing is read as manipulative rather than as enthusiastic. Deleting it removes no information and removes a reason to distrust the seller.

ZONE 4 / 6

Energy rating and renovation path

Before

Energy diagnostics

D 214 kWhEP/m².an - B 6 kgeqCO2/m².an

Display energy diagnostics

Estimated amount of annual energy expenditure for standard use: between 3980€ and 5430€ (ref : 2021, 2022, 2023)

After - Swedish

Energy performance is rated D (214 kWhEP/m².an).

Requested from the agency and pending: a detailed estimate for energy renovation to class B or A, with costs and timeline, and a breakdown of annual property tax and recurring charges.

Trust

This buyer does not want the rating explained. He wants the route out of it. What does it cost to reach class B, and how long does it take. The audit treats the absence of a renovation path as a critical friction in its own right, not as a missing detail: a poor rating with a costed plan is a project, a poor rating without one is a risk.

ZONE 5 / 6

Converting the outbuildings

Before

Information missing.

After - Swedish

Converting the outbuildings requires a French Permis de Construire. We recommend consulting a local architect for feasibility, costs, and timeline before purchase.

Trust

The outbuildings are the asset, and the audit refuses to let them be sold as potential. The original page invites the reader to transform the cowshed ‘according to your vision’. For this buyer, an invitation without a planning framework is the friction, not the attraction: the audit lists the missing legal framework for conversion among the three critical points, and the rewrite answers it with an obligation rather than a promise.

ZONE 6 / 6

Page title and search snippet

Before

Sale House Surzur 7 Rooms 203 m²

At the gateway to the Rhuys Peninsula, in the sought-after village of Surzur, discover this character property nestled in a peaceful cul-de-sac, surrounded by a preserved and leafy environment. Located just 15 to 20 minutes from the beaches of Damgan and

After - Swedish

House with outbuildings near Surzur beaches | 203 m² on 6,000 m²

No description produced. The audit’s fidelity check found an unverifiable travel-time claim in the draft description, could not repair it against the verified facts, and returned the field empty rather than publish it.

Fidelity

This is the guardrail working, and it is worth showing. The tool logs the reason in the audit itself: champ vide, réparation factuelle échouée. It had drafted a description containing a ‘15 min’ claim it could not tie to a verified source on the page, and it emptied the field rather than let an unverifiable figure reach a listing. A description still has to be written, by a human, from facts that can be checked.

This zone is for the webmaster, not the negotiator. Zones 1 to 5 are copy: the agency can paste them into the listing back office itself. The title tag and meta description live in the site template, so this zone is addressed to whoever maintains the website. It is delivered as a separate technical line in the audit for exactly that reason.
After only Beyond the copy

Which photographs to lead with, and which are missing

There is no before to show here. The original page presented twenty photographs in upload order, with no ordering for any particular market. The audit ranks the same twenty photographs against what a Swedish buyer decides on, and the order changes again.

What a Swedish buyer is looking for, per the audit: proof of natural surroundings and tranquility; evidence of property size and layout; clarity on building condition and materials; access to outdoor space and light; and proximity to water or nature.
Main house facade seen from the grounds, blurred
Position 1 Main house facade with entrance and adjacent outbuilding. Shows the main house facade and scale, proving building condition and materials.
Garden with mature pine trees and open lawn, blurred
Position 2 Garden with mature pine trees and open lawn on the 6,000 m² plot. Demonstrates the natural surroundings with mature pine trees and open lawn, confirming tranquility and access to nature.
Rear view showing outbuildings and layout, blurred
Position 3 Rear view showing outbuildings and property layout. Reveals the property layout including outbuildings and rear exposure, showing potential and land use.
The garden comes second, ahead of the outbuildings. Proof of natural surroundings and tranquility is the first photographic criterion the audit lists for this market, ahead of building condition and ahead of layout. The mature pines and the open lawn are not decoration here: they are the evidence the buyer came to check.

Shots the agency needs to supply, in the audit’s own words

Staging. Factual and uncluttered, showing condition rather than dressing it. The audit states the limit explicitly: recommendation for real on-site staging, no generative retouching of the property.
After only Second deliverable

The brief the negotiator gets

Rewriting the page is half the job. The audit also produces a sales brief for the person who answers the phone: how to open, what to lead with, what objection is coming, and what not to say. It is never published. It is written for one nationality at a time, and this one was generated for a Swedish buyer.

Opening line: This stone house on 6,000 m² offers clear potential for a family project near the beaches - with full transparency on energy performance and conversion requirements.
Lead with - the buildings and the land, in figures

The main house is 203 m² with three additional stone structures on a 6,000 m² plot. The outbuildings include a 95 m² former cowshed and a 74 m² convertible space with a 37 m² workshop.

The audit promotes factual description of buildings and land area as the first argument. Said plainly, without a qualifier, it does more work than any adjective would.

Lead with - nature, stated and not claimed

The property is in a quiet cul-de-sac surrounded by trees, 15 to 20 minutes from Damgan and Sarzeau beaches, and close to the Gulf of Morbihan.

Proximity to nature ranks first among this buyer’s photographic criteria. It carries the sale, provided it is described rather than celebrated.

Objection - the energy rating is poor and heating will cost

Yes, it’s currently D. Stone buildings insulate well once upgraded, and we’re preparing a detailed estimate for insulation, windows and heating replacement to reach class B.

Document to prepare: a detailed energy renovation estimate with costs and timeline. The audit’s own guardrail flagged the figures drafted here as unverified, so the estimate must come from a local contractor before any number is quoted.

Objection - can I legally convert the outbuildings?

French planning law requires a Permis de Construire for structural changes. In Surzur, similar conversions have been approved, especially for agricultural reuse. We’ll share recent examples and introduce you to a local architect.

Document to prepare: summary of Permis de Construire requirements and recent approval cases in the commune.

And what the brief tells the negotiator never to do

5
audit score
visual clarity at 6
3
critical frictions
3 missing data points
1
field left empty
by the fidelity check
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The same listing has been audited for other buyers. Each analysis runs on this same page, with the same engine, and changes one thing only: the nationality of the buyer it simulates. The findings, the rewrite and the photographic order differ from one to the next. British buyer, scored 6/10 German buyer, scored 4.5/10 All case studies

The agency, the negotiator and the listing reference have been anonymised: marketed by xxx, reference xxx, contact xxx. Property characteristics, prices and energy figures are reproduced unchanged from the audited page.